If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
