What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize