I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
