first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
