I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
