I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
