You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
