Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
