:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
