So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
