she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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