butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
