He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
