I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
