Whod you bang
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
