Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
