just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
