I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
