NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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