If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
just tell him i said nine months
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
