I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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