I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
