OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Houston, we have a squirter
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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