WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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