my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
did i walk over a car last night?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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