I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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