these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
