Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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