I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
