She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Lo siento on account of my penis...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
