Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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