haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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