3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
