i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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