We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
