just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
