You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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