Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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