so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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