In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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