office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
