Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
