i just had sex bonerless
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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