Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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