is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
