nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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