Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
