I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
