I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
