I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
As shirtless as possible
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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