i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
