you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
