i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
