he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
She's JV to your varsity
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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