This is not my ceiling
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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