He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
