You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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