My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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