I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize
