So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I love you.
Bad choice
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
