We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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