i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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