M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize