I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize