i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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